no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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