All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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