She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
