still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
