im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
