so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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