we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
