Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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