yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
