Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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