you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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