I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love having hate sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
