3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
