How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize