i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
