He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize