You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
