Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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