He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this boner is exhausting
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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