i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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