Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
