trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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