If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize