So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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