Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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