Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
