I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Green mimosas i think yes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
