So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
