My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
