She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
