this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
