i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
