i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
