I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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