I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
