like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
