just come out here and I will go home with you...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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