I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
