Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
