Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
