So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
