What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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