we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize