Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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