Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
