how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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