My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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