Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
