You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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