im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
