Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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