So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
