Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
