Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
