Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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