It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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