...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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