I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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