The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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