i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.