there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.