I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
