just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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